Acceptance

Here we are the last day of another month and 2006 is about to slide into its eighth month. Time seems to fly by at a horrendous rate. The little book of James tells us our lives are like a vapour appearing for a little while then vanishing forever. I stood at Jill’s grave yesterday afternoon and I was caught by that little phrase, “Vanishing forever”. How death has a finality to it that some people don’t grasp. Jill’s life on this earth has vanished forever, it’s different and the kids and I have had to make the appropriate changes. Oh we have the memories which are great but we can no longer hold on to her, she’s gone, vanished forever from time but praise God that’s not the end, she is with Christ which the Apostle Paul reminds us is far better.
If you find yourself in a similar position today and you’ve lost someone close can I speak tenderly and lovingly to you. You must move on, you can build an illusive dream world of make believe and try to live as if it hasn’t happened but sooner or later it will tumble down round you like a house of cards and leave you empty and broken. Or you can accept the fact that it’s different, painful and real, it has happened and you can’t change it but you can change you. Acceptance is by far the best but most painful route, I quote Verdall Davis once again, “Acceptance opens the wound to it’s depths but allows it to heal from the inside out”.

In His hands

I went to Marble Arch caves yesterday with a couple of friends on our motorbikes. When we got to Armagh it started to rain and boy did it rain, by the time we got there the water was running in my collar and out my trouser leg but it was good craic. We went down into the caves and it was amazing to see the handiwork of God. My kids have always kept me going that I can get a sermon out of anything, if something simple happened around the house they would say, watch out dad will preach about that. The guide told us that a stalictite grows at a rate of 1cm per 1000 years and I began to think of the God of all time. Imagine as we look at the beauty of nature and think of the process of bringing it to where it now is, it was not an overnight thing.
A little verse that is precious to me is Ecclesiastes 3:11 "Everything is beautiful in HIS time". We continually have to wait on God's timing. Romans 11:33 says "How unsearchable are HIS judgements and HIS ways passed finding out".
Heres my lifes observation for today. Marble Arch caves didn't develop overnight, nor do we. You and I are a work in process and when we feel we've made it and are accomplished we are in big trouble. Keep on the potters wheel until He calls you home, the work might be painful at times but remember this. Its the best place to be, IN HIS HANDS.

Openess

I have become more aware lately of the cliché world we live in, like “How are you?” “Fine” or “Not bad” can be the extent of the conversation sometimes. It seems to me that folks seem to avoid openness and honesty at all costs and yet I feel it is only when we are open that we can be known, loved and helped. Some people have accused me lately of being to open for someone in my position. Can I remind you of my position, A very ordinary guy who is devoted to serving, loving and honouring his King and Lord, Jesus Christ.
Often patterns of superficial clichés spill over into our relationship with God and we can easily recite a well known prayer or line off our tongues without it actually having much meaning. Our connection with our heavenly Father becomes shallow and weak.
One of the things I’ve learned at this crucial time of my life is that the old cliché stuff doesn’t work. I have read through the psalms a few times lately and have been gob smacked at their forthrightness and openess. I wonder did anyone ever tell king David he was being to honest and open. Job is another book of straight talking, people spilling their guts out to God, saying how it really is with no holds barred. Heres my lifes observation for today, openess and honesty brings healing. Barriers going up brings seclusion, loneliness and depression. Be OPEN, its for your own good.

Reality

I officiated at another wedding yesterday and everyting at it was pink, how Jill would have been in her element at it. Yesterday was one of those emotional rollercoaster days when there are emotions all over the place. With that comes pain from the depths within your soul that you never knew existed. I got into an empty car to come home to an empty house and to be honest I was exhausted. I sat and began to mop up my wounds which run so deep and I began to take heart in a little frame I bought a good friend the other day. I saw it in a shop and thought, how true, it said, "Love....not time heals all wounds". I talked some time ago about not judging people in my position for looking for love again but as time wears on and you have days like yesterday one just begins to realize its a must or you will die. Maybe some people can live without it but personally speaking I don't know how. Its just to hard folks and actually the worry of people judging begins to become unimportant in the stark reality of just being alone. I think God got it right when He said in Genesis 2 "Its not good for man to be alone". I promised God and myself I would be totally honest in these writings if only they could somehow help others cope with tragedy and death in their lives, so there it is. I can't be more honest than what I've been and the truth is I can't live alone. Someone ask me recently did I feel Jill's presence in our home. The answer is an emphatic no, (not even Biblical) actually the opposites true. I feel lonely empty and hurt, I loved her all her life, no one who knew us could question that but she's gone and isn't coming back thats the REALITY.

Principals

I have been thinking lately of people in the scripture that seemed to start well and finish badly and I was shocked at how many there are. People that somewhere somehow stepped outside the remit of Gods will, they lost their perspective on what honours God and pushed the blessings of God away. Cain, Lot, Esua, King Saul, King Solomon, the list just goes on so what I decided to do being a writer I began to list all the things that I felt honoured God. In contrast to these people walking away from God you have the Apostle Paul who said at the end of his life, I have fought a good fight, I have kept the faith, I have finished my course. What a way to end. I have been thinking how Jill ended her race and like Paul she certainly could have made all those remarks and that brings me much joy. She was building the kingdom of God until within seconds of her going home, we where actually discussing a prayer meeting and the power of prayer when she slipped quickly and quietly into the presence of the one we where discussing.
Here is a look at my top ten principal list. Its simple but profound and I hope it blesses you as it has me.
A Biblical perspective on life, Letting go of the past, Honouring the giving principal, Understanding and applying wisdom, Humility, Integrity, Fear of the Lord, Treat your parents right, Honour the elderly/widows/orphans, Honour spiritual leaders, and the House of the Lord.
You keep these ten PRINCIPALS and I believe they will keep you, break them and they will likely break you also.

Sorrow

I came on this wierd verse in Ecclesiastes 7:3 "Sorrow is better than laughter because a sad face is good for the heart". I bet you haven't heard to many sermons on that one but it made me think about it, why does God allow sorrow? and how can it be better for you than laughter? I think God seems to use sorrow to plow the depths of your soul that it may yield a richer, fuller harvest. In a fallen world sorrow seems to be the thing that opens us to ourselves that we may see deep into the chasms of our own souls and find out what is truely there, revealing unknown depths, capacities and ministries that would never otherwise be revealed. I truely wish there where another way to reveal these but it seems to me that sorrow is God's tool. As I've studied the great hero's of faith in the scripture I began to unveil a pattern I didn't like. It seems that God never used them to the greatest degree until He broke them completley. Abraham afflicted, Moses an outcast and what about the favoured son of Jacob called Joseph. He suffered more sorrow than all the other sons put together but he was led into a ministry of feeding the nations.
My observation for today is not the one that would pack a conference centre or have people lining up at the door but its true nonetheless, here it is in one line.
It takes sorrow to expand and deepen the soul in order to fulfil the mysterys of God.

Hovering

It has been just over 4 months since Jill went home to be with the Lord and so much has changed. One of my kids said to me recently, "Dad, thank you for making us realize quickly that Mum was gone and wasn't coming back". I was shocked, she continued, "in the early days we were mad at you because you pushed us all to face the reality and accept something we couldn't accept, but now we see the benifit of it, so thank you". How we tend to live or get trapped in a false world sometimes all because we cannot accept the reality of a situation. In the beginning of our Bibles it says that "Gods Spirit hovered over the face of the deep" Gen 1:2. I have always thought of it this way that God knew the world had no form and was empty, He accepted that but was about to change it so He hovered and studied it carefully. Maybe today instead of running and hiding, trying to pretend it hasn't happened you need to hover, study it, think of a way ahead and start working through the pain. My kids call me a realist and maybe thats true but we can't live in make believe worlds of tinsle and slendour and run away from the pain of reality. If you've lived at all you will have realized that sometimes life sucks. Learn to hover, accept what has happened while you watch and wait for good things to happen again.

Sunrise

I was out on Lough Neagh this morning and from 4.30am there was a red glow coming from over the Antrim hills. I knew what was coming, it was sunrise which came about 5.30am and from it first peaked over the hills until it was a full red ball was just 4 minutes. A new day had just dawned. As you go through difficulties its good to look for a new day, to look at the direction of the glow believing in your heart that it will surely rise and when it does it will rise quickly. One of my favourite stories in the Bible is that of Jacob wrestling with the Angel of the Lord and when he has been blessed because of his persistence to hold on the passage tells us “the sun rose” Gen 32:31. Jacob had his name changed, his life changed and his destiny changed. I think it’s ironic that the passage mentions sunrise because this was certainly a new day for him.
If your life is in turmoil or crisis at present then await your sunrise to your new day, it will surely come. If you can’t even imagine it at present then look in the direction of the glow, choose to believe and wait for it. Remember God is always faithful to His promises. I love Romans 8:25 “But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently”. Wait for your new day, your SUNRISE, it will surely come.

Lifes Map

I was up the mountains on Friday with a good friend, we done 5 peaks, walked miles and sweat buckets but it was great. As we climbed on Friday we soon ran into a mist which we remained in most of the way around the peaks. It meant we saw nothing of the scenery and often there would be little breaks of light which would remind us of the granduer of where we were. As we came down the Hares Gap all of a sudden a cliff face appeared to our left, I remember saying "Wow Dave look at that". The fact was it was always there, it just became visible as the mist cleared and I focused.
It Reminds me of the journey of life, there are those times that it becomes misty and your not sure where you are going, you can't find an answer or maybe you can't even find God at present. This dosn't mean He's not there actually I've found the opposite to be true. I was told lately of a climber who walked of a cliff edge in the mist and lost his life. We talked on Friday of the importance of compass and map, which we both had. It was vital to our safety that we paid close attention to our maps, sometimes stopping to examine our route.
Can I stress the importance of your LIFES MAP, Gods Word, especially in misty conditions. It could save your live!

Run to it

One of the facts you and I have to face as we live life is that we live in a fallen world and because of that it inevitably involves sorrow and pain. Sin when it entered the world started a downhill spiral of heartache bringing physical and spiritual death and along with that comes all the accompanying ramifications. I have observed something as I’ve journeyed through such a time and this is it, God has a higher purpose and plan for His people and He seems to use our most painful experiences to mature us and draw us closer to a deeper dependence on Him. We can run from this or into it, if you run from it I believe you will extend your pain and you will lose the sense of hope that only God can bring. If you run to it, you run towards your destiny in God which will launch you into a new tomorrow that God is in.
If you are in a fragile place at this moment then turn to the deepest resources that lie within you, everything you’ve ever learned about God, every verse you’ve ever memorized and draw upon every rudiment of your faith to sustain you.
Most people know the story of David and Goliath but what maybe you haven't noticed is that before David slew him it says "He ran towards the giant". My friend stop running away and turn towards your giant or it will haunt and destroy you instead of you conquering it. Its most painful but most beneficial and you will begin to unfold Gods future plans for your life.

True

I got a few days off and went up to Newcastle with the kids, we had a ball and the weather was amazing. In the evenings I would look at the Mournes and just contemplate the awesomeness of God. The Bible says that He created with a word, “and God said LET THERE BE”. It made me wonder at the power of our words, the Bible says in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue”. Friends listen to me with great intent, watch what you let out of your lips; it can make or break you and those around you. You cannot imagine the ramifications that your tongue has. I have been more and more convinced in these days that our words should be Gods words. If you are in a place of grief, weakness or vulnerability be so careful what you say, your tongue can blister or bless, curse or create, feed or fool your aching soul.
Here’s my point, dive headlong into Gods Word, find out what the Word says about your situation and stand on it, make it the final authority in your life then when weakness is there and the enemy tells you, you can’t do it you can remind him that according to Gods Word “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you” Philippians 4:13.
If you get Gods Word on it, follow it with a passion; don’t let people, feelings or the devil rob you from Gods best. After all He is our Father and He wants the best for His kids. Hard to understand at times the direction He takes but nonetheless “TRUE”

Gods on the Throne

There was an awesome thunder and lightning storm last night and I remembered as a child I always thought God was angry when that happened. I would wonder what had made God so cross and I would hide under the sheets in case it was me. (I was a sick kid) Actually it clears the air, reduces stuffiness and leads the way to better weather. I began to think last night as I lay with the curtains open and watched the display how an odd thunder and lightning in our relationships isn’t bad either. As I move on through this process and hope has come alive in my life again its important not to reverse but to push forward and when reverse happens some thunder and lightning might be needed. It brings a reality check to our situation, clears the air, reduces stuffiness and makes us live WITH our pasts and not IN them. In the last 4 weeks I have begun to hear God again and allow Him to take me to the promises of His Word that I have dived into and clung onto for 4 months now even when they seemed impossible, some of these I can’t share with you yet but I will when God reveals the time. The old hymn says, “His promises are true, He will not forget you. God is still on the throne”.

Love or Loneliness

The Future, that vast uncharted sea of the unknown, what does it hold for me is the question lurking in the shadows of my mind at the moment? Is it joy or terror, comfort or pain, love or loneliness? I suppose some people would run to a fortune teller to find what lurks in the shadows of their future. Tomorrows story is known only to God, the Bible tells us He holds the future in His hands and so my situation is under the control of the Master planner. I have nothing to fear when I trust Him. I have to admit humanly it freaks me out a little bit and I would love God to let me in on the plan but He seems to be a Ticket Master that doesn’t give out tickets until the train is about to leave. I have never had to have faith like I have at this very moment; He alone has to become my hope and security. I have to be careful of running ahead of Him and making a mess, so I wait knowing that those that wait on the Lord, He will renew their strength. Isaiah 40:31
If you are at a point like this today, be careful, there are many roads you could take and miss the fulfilment of God in your life.
It’s awful when you lose the one who was your sounding board. With Jill gone there is a gaping hole of emptiness and loneliness, no one to tell the struggles and fears to, no-one who will pray for those innermost fears and thoughts. I still miss her desperately.

Blind spot

When I was doing my bike test the instructer continually was emphasising the need for checking your blind spot so before every change of lane or direction you had to check over your shoulder. To show me this on one occasion he stood at my right shoulder and ask me to try and find him in the mirrors, I couldn't. Isn't it funny how God can get into a blind spot at times in your life, you look for him everywhere but He can't be found. No direction, no counsel, no purpose, all is silent. Maybe its only me this happens to, God is in the blind spot and we are desperatley and sometimes unwillingly being forced to change lane but we can't seem to get the go ahead because we search for God in our mirrors and can't find Him. In road safety the policy is don't make the move until your sure and I endorse it in the realm of your life. My life is in a big lane change at the moment, for 4 months I've fervently and desperately sought God, for much of that time He has remained in my blind spot but I've franticly looked around and of late have found Him and began to hear His sweet voice again.
I have no answer for you as to why God does this maybe its Him testing how long you'll wait or how passionatley you'll search, I just don't know. But this I do know, He's true to His word when He said, "Call upon Me and I WILL answer".

Change

Its amazing how an event in your life can change you forever. I went over to Cambridge last week to do my bike test, it was the first time in an airport without Jill and it was unreal. The smell of the perfume in the duty free, all the happy couples going on holiday, people laughing and having fun. On the way back I got a lift on the back of a motorbike the 150 miles to east midlands. I walked into the airport in my jeans and tshirt, a motorbike helmet and a back pack on. I began to think how my life has changed since Jill went home and wondered as the world looked on, who or what they would consider me to be. Certainly not the senior pastor of a church, maybe not even the father of 4 grown up kids or a grandad of 2.
Heres my point, if you are in this situation today remember this, change isn't all bad, we are just afraid of it. I have talked to so many people who have lost loved ones who are afraid to change. Everything has stayed the same for them, clothes still in the wardrobe, trying to live in the same routines. Listen to me and I say this with much pain and love. "Its not the same, it never will be, stop living in an unreal world and allow change into your life". The reason I say this is because as long as you refuse to change you refuse to accept the reality of what has happened and remember, I repeat, "Change isn't all bad, we are just afraid of it".

Heroes 2

Yesterday I talked about heroes, another one of mine is Indiana Jones, I can tell your thinking I’m a deeply spiritual guy (who's lost the plot). My favourite is “The Holy Grail”. Near the end of the movie old Indy has to take a ‘STEP OF FAITH’, stepping out into a million foot drop with no bridge having the faith that when he steps out the bridge will appear. Wow! I can feel the intensity of it as I write and yet I’ve discovered that if your ever going to achieve anything in this life you have to take a few steps of faith yourself. We call it “taking risks” which by the way I think God really loves and has a lot of time for the person that takes risks.
Strange as it may seem God is not always one to play it safe, if you haven’t already found out, you will, God has a habit of taking you to the wire or as Exodus 3:1 tells us “Moses was in the back side of the desert”. Can’t get any further than that from civilized life and yet that just where God wanted him so He could work in his life. God forced Moses to take a risk that would change not just his life but the life of millions of people, and not just millions of people but a nation and a nation that would influence the world and not just the world but eternity because Jesus would be born through this nation. So next time you feel in the backside of a desert maybe a risk, a STEP OF FAITH would be appropriate.

Heroes

I have had a few heroes over the years, some from the scriptures and some who God has persoally placed in my life at strategic times. I have also had a few fictional ones like Peter Pan, I love Peter Pan with my favourite movie in the whole world being ‘Hook’ featuring Dustin Hoffman as the much hated Hook and Robin Williams playing the Pan. In one of the classic scenes in this movie which I’m sure I’ve watched a dozen times, Peter comes back to never never land to rescue his kids that Hook has captured. Peter has lived and grown up in normal life, forgot that he is Peter Pan, has no happy thoughts and can’t fly. What a sad man is he, no happy thoughts then while everyone makes fun of Peter Pan not being able to fly his son whispers the statement, “I believe you’re the Pan”, and boom that’s all it takes, someone close enough to him to believe in him. I’ll not spoil the movie by telling you the rest because you must watch it. I think that’s one of the things I miss most about Jill, she believed in me. Knowing my love for this movie she would often say before I preached or performed a wedding or anything else, “Go do it, I believe in you Peter Pan”. The last time she said it to me was the day she died as I went to do something.
Here’s my life’s observation for today. Everyone needs someone to believe in them even against all odds.

Gift of Mercy

I have long loved to watch people operate who have the GIFT OF MERCY. These people seem to have a tunnel vision when it comes to lifting the bruised and battered of this world and without any holds barred bring these people to a place of shelter and rest. I have been the receiver of such people over the past few months and it has made me watch them with great intent to see what makes them tick. They have a heart of compassion that swells within them making me wonder how they get their shirts buttoned in the mornings. The old Greek word for compassion in the New Testament means, “Loving from ones bowels” (the seat of ones spirit). The New Testament often records before Jesus did something unique and powerful that He was moved with compassion. We have substituted Mercy and Compassion with the word Empathy which by the way never occurs in the Bible. Read the story of the Good Samaritan and you will conclude that while Empathy stands back and advices and feels sorry for, good old Mercy and Compassion rolls up its sleeves and gets mucked in there. Praise God for the GIFT OF MERCY but more importantly for those who allow it to operate through them.

Memories

I recall this morning eight years ago so vividly. Jill and I where camping in Castlewellen with our kids when we got the dreaded phone call. It was 7am in the morning and my mobile seemed to echo through the camp site, “Come home quickly” Jill’s mum said. Jill and I where in the car in minutes leaving the kids in their sleeping bags, I broke every speed limit and was driving into Jill’s mum and dads drive within 30 minutes. It was to late, Jill’s dad; my friend had slipped into eternity just minutes before we arrived. It was Sunday morning and I can still see him the Friday before sitting in the kitchen of his home with blue pyjamas on which seemed to exaggerate the deep blue eyes which Jill had inherited from him. The doctor said “Philip maybe you would help Billy down to bed” as he wanted to talk to the girls and their mum alone. I’ll never forget Billy’s reply as he jumped up and marched down the hall with me behind him, “I don’t need anyone to help me, I’m ok”. It was all for the benefit of the girls, when we got into the bedroom he nodded at me to close the door and then with tears in his eyes said, “Philip, look after them for me”. I promised him I would and I have.
Here’s my life’s observation for today the 12th of July 06. Life just ain’t fair. Time passes but memories stay, terribly difficult in early days but hopefully the pain subdues.

Fit to love

I came on this prayer from Thomas a Kempis and I found it quite inspirational, “Ah Lord God, thou holy lover of my soul, when thou comest into my soul, all that is within me shall rejoice. Thou art my glory and the exultation of my heart; thou art my hope and refuge in the day of my trouble. Set me free from all evil passions, and heal my heart of all inordinate affections; that being inwardly cured and thoroughly cleansed, I may be made fit to love, courageous to suffer, steady to persevere. Amen”.
It was the last line caught me because I haven’t felt FIT TO LOVE, courageous to suffer or steady to persevere since last Thursday. I have been treading water and just about keeping my head up, seems like I have taken an odd gulp of water but still trying to keep my eyes on Jesus knowing that if I miss Him I’m drowned. In 10 years of church planting it has not been an easy journey, there have been many obstacles and battles along the way and Jill and I fought them together but I have never had to fight a battle like this before and so alone. This takes every fibre of your being, every ounce of your strength, and when you want to quit you can't because the option isn't there. Quitting dosn't even make it go away, its just a long dark night of the soul and one has to wait for the dawn of morning, trusting Gods word is true, "Joy comes in the morning".

Carried

Yesterday in church I spoke am and pm on Mark 2, the man who was paralyzed and carried to Jesus. I suggested everyone at a point in their lives will need to be carried and so it is of vital importance we allow good friends to support and carry us to the ultimate carrier, Jesus himself. Let me quote you Matthew 11:28-30 from the message,
"Are you tired, burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you will recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Isn't that amazing, its a sort of paradox to everything I ever knew. Work hard, don't think of yourself, get stressed, get wearied. But God says different, its like He wants to carry us at these unique times of total worn outedness (i know thats not a word but I like making new ones up, forgive me) to a place with Him, a place of recovery, a place where we learn to live freely and lightly. When the man in Mk 2 came in contact with Jesus my Bible says he Jumped up and walked, a spring in his step, a new direction, recovery in its greatest form. Do you need recovery today, get to Jesus and if you can't make it on your own, kick, squeal, draw attention to yourself so some friends will LIFT you up and you could be CARRIED to the Carrier of all burdens.

Never Alone

I got this email from a great friend of mine in response to yesterdays writings on Psalm 88, I copied and pasted for you all to recieve.
"I have looked too at Psalm 88 and wondered at its darkness. I actually find Heman's honesty quite refreshing; he has the courage to lay bare his hurt, like unwinding bandages on an open wound and letting someone see. He doesn't try to cover it with an artificial optimism, things are just bad. This psalm appears a lonely one among so many that are sorrowful yet brightened by a flicker of hope. But it does bring one encouragement - God answered Heman's prayer. In the whole psalm he makes only one request ... and God granted it. Verse 2, "Let my prayer come before You; incline Your ear to my cry." God did incline His ear. The proof of this is in the fact that we are reading his words! God not only heard his words, He wrote them down and preserved them in His book. I wonder at how Heman's life turned out, but I know one thing - he wasn't quite as alone as he felt".
I wished I'd thought of the verse 2 bit but there you go. The last statment of my friends email said it all to me. "We are never as alone as we think". I think I'll make it my new motto.

Wait on God

Psalm 88 has taken me to the fair lately, I have found myself asking the question, “How or why in the wide world did that get in there? Did it slip past God in some way? Its Written by a guy called Heman who prays and prays and prays and no answer comes. He is deserted and despondent, no strong arm of the Lord bared to help him and no light to illuminate his way. There is not one word of praise, thanksgiving or hope in the Psalm. At the end it is not Gods unfailing love and mercy that prevails but darkness. The Hebrew word for darkness here is ‘mahshak’ referring to the dark place of the grave where all hopes, faith and dreams have been buried. It is a place where we will all come to in our lives, and even though Heman feels God has turned His back on him he won’t turn his back on God. Walter Brueggemann writes in his book, “The message of the Psalms”. “Psalm 88 shows us what the cross is about: Faithfulness in scenes of complete abandonment”.
I don’t know when your dark night will come or how long it will last when it does. I have no formula to get you through it or 7 steps of action all beginning with the same letter, no proven techniques. Darkness has a way of stripping you of formulas, steps and techniques and chucking them into blackness. I guess the only thing to do is WAIT ON GOD

Encourage Yourself

There is a great story in 1 Samuel 30, it records that David and his men where coming back from battle and found their own camp plundered and all their wives and kids captured. Verse 6 says that David wept until he had no more power to weep, all his men blamed him and talked of stoning him. This was not a good situation at all, what will David do. The Bible says, "David encouraged himself in the Lord". The nlt says "But David found strength in the Lord his God". Its great to have people that encourage us, it is so important but there is a responibility to encourage ourselves, how do we do that you ask? Look at the difference between Davids men and him, they wanted a scapegoat, someone to blame. As long as its someone elses fault they where ok, David on the other hand began to look to God for a solution not a scapegoat.
Heres my lifes observation for today, when you find yourself in trouble or crisis, stop looking for someone to blame and start looking for a solution. It may involve pain or sacrifice, you may have to ask yourself some searching questions like, "do I really want to stay here?" "What could I do to move from here?" "What works for me"?
Some questions not to ask, "What will everyone think"? "Am I strong enough"? Remember the passage, when David had no more strength to weep he ENCOURAGED HIMSELF in the Lord.

Happy

Ben my wee grandson is like my shadow at our house, I love it. I was changing after coming home from the office and of course he was there with his hundreds of questions as usual. He was sitting on my bed and asked, "Papa, does nanny not sleep with you anymore", "No son, not anymore". "Papa, is nanny coming back soon", "no pet, nannys not coming back soon". "Papa, when is she coming back cause Ben misses nanny". "Papa misses her too son but shes not coming back for a long time". He told me she was living with God and the angels which I agreed but he proceeded to ask me where God and the angels lived and was God coming back, he went down stairs and asked his mum “why does Papa cry a lot”, Amy said “it’s because Papa is sad”. He pondered this a while and then came up with a great idea. Mummy, he said, “Ben’s going to make Papa happy again”. And he does!
Now thats the best idea I've heard in a long time and it set me thinking, "Who can I make happy today?" You know the simplist things in life are usually the best, a word of encouragement, a hug, a handshake or sometimes just a smile of acknowledgement can brighten someones day. You begin to realize its not complicated to make someone HAPPY even in the midst of crisis. Go on I dare you, give it a try and let me know if it works.

Logic

Many years ago I had the privilege to stand in Robert Murray McShane’s church in Scotland; I actually stood in his original pulpit which they have preserved in a little room. For those of you who don’t know who he was he preached fearlessly to the people of Scotland in the 19th century and died at the young age of 29. I have been forced to think of some of the logics of God lately which don’t seem that awful logical. Jill at 48 on the crest of a wave with God and family, Intimate Issues conference on the way to Ireland because of her dream to see women become princesses in God and BOOM she’s taken home. John the Baptist who never saw 35, what a man, a Prophet, the forerunner of Jesus Himself and it would seem as I read it that Jesus done nothing at all to stop his head being chopped off because some silly girl danced provocatively and excited an old fool with loads of power. Stephen a young man in Acts 7, surely God will come to his rescue when he boldly proclaims the gospel under the visible anointing of the Holy Spirit but nope, guess what, he was stoned to death and became the first martyr. Ten of the twelve disciples where martyred, Judas committed suicide and John died of old age exiled on an island for his faith in Christ.
Not very good material this for prosperity teaching is it? I conclude my studies today with the unique discovery, “GODS WAYS ARE NOT OUR WAYS” actually the Bible says "Their past finding out". He dosn't work by our LOGIC and thats it.

Rejoice

We are told in Romans 12:15 to "rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those that weep". Here is another of my observations of life. You can always find people to weep with those that weep. I think it gives us a sense of control over the person or that we are up there trying to pull them up so in some way we feel stronger or better. Now on the other end when someone gets a new job, a new car, moves into a bigger home, gets left some dosh (money) you'll hear expressions like "who do they think they are" or "I remember them when they had nothing" or "Not long ago they where in the depths of despair". I have found great comfort from people while moving through my grief, but I have also found some people who would like me to stay here and to those people I would say GRIEF IS A PROCESS NOT AN ADDRESS, I ain't staying here.
One of the things I love is to see someone get a new car and I always say "health to enjoy it, you deserve it", and they do. We need to start rejoicing with some people instead of being intimitated by someones progress. So today, while it is important to weep with those that are weeping remember when their dawn appears to get your party hats out and instead of moving on to the next weeper be a rejoicer and take them right through the process, they'll love you for it.

Crutches

I have talked a little bit in the past about the tremendous crutch Jill was in my life and in my ministry; she was good to lean on. I don’t know whether or not you’ve had crutches removed from you but it can create enormous pain and instability when support we had counted on is torn from us. I think one of the lessons I have been learning is not to lean too heavily or hold to tightly to anything that’s temporal, that means pertaining to this life. I have had to ask God lately about emmanuel, my ministry for Him, or anything else, are these crutches in my life because I have to learn to lean on Him and not on them? This is easier said than done because we like to be in control and pain can be exhausting; we can lose strength and forfeit any sense of balance or control over our emotions. The psalmist in 6:6 put it this way, “My groaning has worn me out. At night my bed and pillow are soaked with tears”.
My question to you and to myself today is whats carrying your weight? What do you lean mostly on? It must be on Christ, the old hymn writer got it spot on.
On Christ the solid rock I stand.
All other ground is sinking sand.
Stay on the Rock

Dawn

In 1921 George Mallory set out to climb Everest. One of his team wrote this discription of dawn at 21000 feet. "Here on this sharp ridge, at a hieght of 21000 feet, with no obstruction to hide the view, sunrise came to us in all its grandeur and beauty. To the west, and close at hand, towered up Everest, still over 8000 feet above us, at first cold and grey, like the dead, and with the sky of deepest purple behind. Then all of a sudden, a flash of golden light touched the utmost summit of Mount Everest and spread with a glow of gold all over the highest snows and ridges of this wonderful mountain, while behind the deep purple of the sky changed to orange. Makalu (one of the mountains near Everest) caught the first rays of the sun and glowed as if alive, and then the white sea of cloud was struck by the rays of the sun and gleamed with colour; then slowly rose and struck against the island peaks in great billows of fleecy white. Such a scene it has seldom been the privilage of man to see, and once seen leaves a memory that the passing of time can never efface".
Night time on the mountain or the valley is not a nice thing so dawn is always welcome. I am starting to realize that everyones night is different but so is everyone DAWN. I'm waiting before the Lord for dawn to come.

Make Sense

One of my daughters and I where talking last evening of our feelings. We both remarked how grief has a way of creeping up on you at inopportune times but the most frustrating thing is the reoccurrence of things we think we have already worked through. C.S. Lewis in “A Grief Observed” writes Grief is like a long winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape. My experience over the last 14 weeks is not every bend does. Sometimes the surprise is the opposite one; you are presented with exactly the same sort of country you thought you had left behind miles ago. That’s when you begin to wonder if the valley isn’t some sort of circular trench. I am continually reminding myself that God is in control and He is doing a work in me and that can only come as I learn to trust Him no matter how dark the days and how sleepless the nights. Somehow I have to let my head slip down into my heart and no longer demand answers. The WHY? Becomes unimportant when I begin to believe that God can and will redeem the pain for my good and His glory. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me and I must hold on to this promise with all my strength even when He doesn’t seem to MAKE SENSE.
Have a great day.