Friends
I woke this morning and was thinking about my friends, all the response to my blog and texts where amazing. There where a few texts that couldn't be repeated but that was ok as well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Friends, family and friendship are mentioned over 100 times in the Scripture so I thought of a few things about them.
Friends are not optional, they are essential.
Friends don't just appear, they are made. Proverbs 18:24 says If we want friends we must be friendly.
Friends are not just cosmetic, they deeply influence our lives.
Friends come in different stages. We all have acquaintances, then we have casual friends, then close friends and then intimate friends.
Jesus worked out this principle as He had John that He loved, then He had the 3 close friends, then the 12 and then loads of acquaintainces.
Maybe this morning you need to sow into a few lives and begin to cultivate a few friendships. theres nothing more powerful.
34 Comments:
Just curious now, Philip... who is the lucky Lorraine?
Hi Philip
Just been reading your blogs and some of your replies Where have all these blogers been in the last 5 months and all anonymous too!!! If Jill where here this wouldnt be happening but she gone to glory and she would want you to be happy. We are so happy to see you smile again and God has answered lots of peoples prayers and given you someone new to love. Dont worry about what some people think. Follow your heart.
Love you always
Andrew & Hazel xoxoxoxo
Ref- Hazel comment
Past 5 months people have been caring about Jill's family. I think you have ALL forgotten her poor mother and sister who are grieving. Nobody will ever forget Jill, esp those who have known her and her family for 40yrs. Maybe God will tell you to think of them too!
Love the way that the flock are now infighting online. Perhaps this issue should have been more sensitively dealt with, perhaps not online.....?
Philip,
I think you are an amazing man who serves an even more amazing God. He loves you and wants what is best for you, so why should anyone be surprised or judgemental at God giving you the greatest gift of all, a fundamental need and desire for all human beings - love.
Best wishes to you both in this exciting new chapter of your lives,
Lindsay
I think Anonymous needs to know that people have supported Both Sister, Mother, Husband and Kids very well, in fact words couldn't describe how well. Could Anonymous stop making "accusations" and "assumptions" if You are gonna say something stop hiding your identity!
Ref the last comment.
I agree wholeheartedly that there are two people who are badly in need of some consideration here - Jill's mother and sister. Its all very well to say 'follow your heart' or 'we love ya so anything you do is okay by us' but the reality is that for every action there is a reaction and everybody will have a different reaction to this news. What I don't understand is why is this 'news'? Why publish your innnermost thoughts on this blog? By making your most personal of thoughts newsworthy to everyone you are inviting speculation and opinion. Clearly it is not just a matter of following your heart's desire as if this was the case there would be no need for public appraisal of your actions.
Hi there Uncle Philip
Well, this is a first. You have left me speechless! John and dad would probably thank you right about now as they have offered to pay me to be quiet before but you don't have to give me anything except your word to continue to be as open and honest in everything you do as you have been up to now.
It takes guts and alot of them to first of all allow yourself to fall in love again after Aunty Jill but also to admitt it to yourself and then to everyone else!!
Aunty Jill will never be forgotten but for you, life HAS to go on. I guess what i'm trying to say is that I AM really pleased for you and Lorraine. God wants you to live your life to the fullest and know what - God thinks you're wonderful and so do I!!!
Loads and Loads of love
Kathryn xo
there is so much that one could say...but restraint and respect forbids me
I don't need to defend MY Friend Philip, but...For those of us that are fortunate to call Philip (and also Lorraine) our intimate friends, and have been in close contact with him over the past 5 months, we know the turmoil and the pain that he has suffered. Those of us who have been closest to him understand that everyone who NEEDED to be spoken to and situations explained have been approached with respect and love. If anyone is foolish enough to think that anyone has forgotten Jill's family then you are completely out of touch with how MY friend PHILIP operates as a man.
He does not hide behind anonymity but wears his heart on his sleeve and if "anonymous" has not seen this....then I would suggest that "anonymous" has not taken any time to get to know MY friend Philip.
God Bless you Philip.....I have taken some of your advice and searched for God's promises to ME...perhaps this can apply a little to YOU also my friend (I know you love the Psalms) Psalm 25. Verse 21 describes MY friend Philip
16 Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me, For I am desolate and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses!
18 Look on my affliction and my pain, And forgive all my sins.
19 Consider my enemies, for they are many; And they hate me with cruel hatred.
20 Keep my soul, and deliver me; Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You.
21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You.
Colin
To the annonymous blogger who left the message on Sunday. You have no right to question Philips decisions or actions, since you neither know him personally as one of the church family or know his personal family, I'm amazed that you want to comment in such a public forum. You don't know what has been going on away from the blog. It is quite a big speak to presume you are speaking for God when you don't know that much about the situation... It amazes me how so many people can have strong feelings about someone elses business!!!
5 and a half months ago i lost my mum and i have watched my dad cry more than i ever thought was possible. it has been hell on earth for us as a family, it has been so lonely i cant even describe it. i cry as i write this cos i miss my mum so so much but what makes it worse is watching my dad hurt. i miss her in everything i do, in big things, in wee things- i speak for my sisters and brother too when i say that Lorraine coming into dad's life has brought us some hope - because it has given dad hope. as a family we went to mum's sister and mother when dad wanted to tell them about Lorraine and they were supportive cos the bottom line is (and it breaks my heart to say) mum is gone. we are a close family but this has shaken us to the core, my life is changed forever, i miss my mum and best friend more than you could imagine. reading the comments here, i have cried over how much you people care for my dad and our family, it means so much. just because we look like we're moving on, doesn't mean the past is forgotten. mum lives on in me i hope. we need hope, we asked for hope, and God delivered. please if you have negative things to say, carefully consider our hearts before you post your comments.
to dad :
you are amazing for baring your heart and soul on this journey, it has been so hard to watch but i thank God that he is bringing us through, together. i'm right with you. love you so much xxx
lisa (philip's eldest daughter)
Thanks to God for providing Philip with Lorraine, and a wonderful family to support him throughout.
well said Lisa, colin and edel.
feel like lightening this up as usual so ... is this just a marketing ploy to increase the hits on the church website haha!! never seen so many replies to a blog in all my days!! wiggy
just to anonymous comment about infighting with the flock , what rubbish , those who care most about Pastor Phil and have been hurting for him and with him last 5 monthhs know best and understand and we all give him and Lorraine our full backing and are over the moon for him,those who are posting bad comments obviously dont have Philips best interests at heart or you wouldnt come on speaking rubbish
we love ya Phil and are with you 100% forever
God bless mate
Philip
Seems like a lot of people will cry with you in mourning but won't rejoice with you in God's NEW THING - Miserable lot!!!!!
Lenny
As some have commented, many find it strange (and maybe inappropriate) to be so public on this blog.
But maybe on the otherhand it reduces all rumours and gossips to zero, since if Phil is open and honest, then there's nothing left to guess or whisper about - which is a good thing.
Love ya Phil,
Dave and Grace
This is all getting a bit too much and that is a shame since this is a church based website and should really be about pointing others to Christ and NOTHING else.
A Blog is A personal web page it just happens to be linked to the church web page.
Hi Philip!
I prayed for this day, when you would re-discover all the emotions of hope and love.
It was only a week to that day when I stood in a church and experienced that bittersweet emotion which I know you are experiening now.
Time widens the gap but it doesnt soften the blow.
Hope and love gives was a strength to encounter time and all that is before us.
GOD IS LOVE.
Why link to the church web page at all if this Blog is purely a personal web page? Why invite others to respond to this Blog (as on the Homepage of the Church website) if no opinion is desired? As to the 'crying in mourning'- who is being judgemental now? Some people have not finished their mourning yet - they are not just being 'miserable'.
In my experience two of the things which have done the most damage to the church [that is, the people, not the pews] are gossip and hypocrisy, both to Christians by making them leave, and to non Christians by them seeing our bitchiness.
If things are done behind closed doors, people talk.
If things are not openly, people still talk.
Maybe we should stop talking and pray that our kick ass God will heal our land. And I have just been the biggest hypocrite of all.
Phil Gods speed to you. Gods strength to you. I think you are wonderful and from where I sit in Spain it has been very moving to watch this story unfold. Your daughter Lisa was wonderful to meet and she is a reflection of your wife, your wife will always live on in your heart and your childrens hearts. Joy comes in the morning. Thank you for sharing your personal life with us, Christ shines through you. All the best Brian Heasley
Anonymous – the term in the dictionary means nameless, unidentified and unspecified and that seems to aptly describe those individuals who wish to hide behind barbed comments about Philip, his family and our church family. It seems to us that it is easy to make such comments from behind the cloak of anonymity, after all with anonymity there is no requirement to face the consequences your words have on individuals, families and church members. We pray for grace and mercy for those who feel so inclined to comment in such a manner. Philip, our friend and pastor, love and prayers continue to be with you and your family and with Lorraine who we are looking forward to getting to know better. Harold & Janice
I just wanted to say that i stand by everything my sister said on this blog. All you annonymous people, too afraid to come and say what you think to our faces so you send us annonymous mail, real classy!
i want you to know annonymous that i love my dad so so much and am so so proud of him and everything that he is doing, it really doesnt matter to me what you think cause we have each other and God to see us through and we know that he has seen us this far and will continue to be our strong support and refuge! Its easy to see you dont know us as a family cause if you did you could never be so heartless. I hope you find God in your own life soon cause surely someone who already knows him could not be so cruel.
Thank you to everyone who knows us and is truly happy for us as a family that we might finally have a little hope of getting out of the hell that has been the last 5 and a half months i love you all.
dad, never stop doing what your doing cause i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for you, i think your amazing and love you loads!!!
I spent ages trying to think of something supportive to say, but I couldnt put it into words. Suffice to say you got my support in your decisions. Probably accounts for very little in reality, as I only know you through Amy - but I hope it encourages you in some way.
I hope my comments 1:43 AM, September 05, 2006 did not hurt anyone i was trying to be supportive. I do belong to the church and i do know philip. I want to also add that for the time i have knew philip and jill they were both very open and honest so why should philip hide his feeling now. It true when i read that philip had met someone else i thought it was quick but then i thought hold on a minute we have been praying for him to come through the pain, we have read his bloggs and heard how he felt and here god has sent someone to help heal that pain. Why would it be better to watch philip suffer for longer if god can heal now? I know the pain has not gone it's not going to be fixed but at least there is a future.
I have read your bloggs philip and i have cried at your loss we miss jill too but you and your family are the real ones to suffer and I felt this in your writings. I also saw god in there working away and it has helped me keep my faith it has helped me work through things in my life. so thank you for that.
The best of luck to you and your family so many people love you all.
you are just great the way you are just being pastor phil you give so much to everyone so a big hug to you XXXX
Hey guys, everybody needs to calm down, this is just a blog, it's open for public veiwing and also I beleive that Pastor phil can disable anonymous blogging if he wants. This is cyber space not the real world, people can be who they want to be on the internet. This isn't real, people don't have to read it, this blog is just a set of opinions and observations. Reality is flesh and bones living together working it out together, who really cares what anonymous says. Pastor phils reality is in Lurgan not this blog.
Hello Philip, just jo here :)I wanted to say that having been a part of emmanuel over the past few years i have come to see you are a man of integrity, who does not make any decision lightly. As a church family we have seen that the word and opinion of God, the blessing of your own family and the counsel of wise friends are vital to you in everything. i want you to know that you have mine and glen's support in this next chapter of your lives xx Who would have thought 6 months ago our two families would face the tragedies they have. I still hold that God is good and his plans perfect even if very hard to accept at times. How is it that saying goes? .. The dark threads are as necessary in the tapestry of our lives for without them the Colours wouldn't shine so brightly. God sees and knows our bigger pictures .. may this section of your tapestry be full of all the master weavers brightest threads :) love you xx
From reading Phil's blogs over the last 5 months it is clearly evident that the loss of Jill and the pain and grief he and his family have suffered is still very present. Everybody who has suffered grief understands that there is a desperate inner desire to replace that which is lost, it is our human survival mechanism! It is not wrong in scripture for Phil to begin another relationship and those who care and love Phil will want to see him settle with someone one day, but even by worldly standards this seems too soon; even people who knew Jill are still grieving for her even though we know she is in a better place. But time will tell .... Whilst we all want to be surrounded by love, let's not forget that the devil uses us too.
Phil there is no judgement here, just a couple of questions.
1. They say it takes at least a year to grieve properly, because you can always say "this time last year...." do you think you are giving yourself enough time?
2. Men also tend to want to get married sooner after the loss of a spouse because they desperately miss the physical intimacy. Can our physical needs sometimes be so strong they rule our emotions?
I think you are aa wonderful man and love reading your blog, thanks for being so honest. Brian Heasley
.....So pleased for you (and lorraine) Just wanted you to know!
Love wee Jillo
Forget the negative words, the discouraging comments and the judgement u have suffered, people need to carry on with their own lives and stop finding time to put a black mark others! Let God come and guide you in a time of desperation, let him correct your faults!
Obviously you didnt want things to work out this way but this is the way God clearly wants to keep it for a while. He is bringing people in and out of ur life for a major purpose which God will start to pour out on ur life!! be prepared for plenty of blessing!! :)
Phil, ever since I joined the church I have always looked up to you... You dont need anyones approval for this!! I thank God for bringing you this far... The ultimate healer.
Love you man... Stevie W
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