Why???????
Yesterday was another day full of whys. Its wierd that when you come to terms with some of the questions one has with God it seems that they continually creep up again and again. Like what I sort out with God today I might just have to sort out tomorrow again. My youngest daughter took an asthma attack yesterday and as I rushed her to hospital it seemed time was running out, I really thought I had lost her as well. I stood crying out to God over her limp breathless body thinking "The last time I did this it didn't work". When the doctors revived her I went out to a quiet place in the hospital, slumped into an old wheelchair and wept and wept and wept. My prayers yesterday where short, I didn't actually know what to say to God. After 3 months of calling constantly upon Him I was tired, angry, cheesed off and thankful all mixed together. So my prayer life yesterday consisted of short sentences, WHY GOD. What have I done that was so wrong? What are you playing at? Have you forgotten me? Are You still there?
I bet your thinking I repented of all that last night, not just yet, I still need my wee moan, but I'll get there. I still love Him and He's stuck with me till He calls me home as well and He knows it.
Love yas
1 Comments:
If its even a tiny consolation, Phil, we're asking all the same questions - why Jill? why Philip? why someone so obviously devoted to his Father?? And when do we get answers? I reckon God's big enough to take your anger and tiredness and cheesed-offness on the proverbial chin, don't think He'll be offended at all. I haven't got any smart words and I don't want to trundle out the tired old cliches, but I love you and me and Marty and the girls hoist you up in prayer every night, and we will do until the night turns to morning... J
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