Reinvestment
There is a word used in grief counselling called REINVESTMENT. It is a powerful thing and one must reinvest or you are beat. What I have found is that in the early days I reinvested in spending loads of time with God, climbing mountains and riding motorbikes. When I was up a mountain I would hate the fact that I was doing this to try to fill a void and emptiness in my life. Some people even said I was running from my grief. Something unique has began to happen, on my last day off I climbed a few peaks and quess what, I enjoyed it. Then a strange thing happened, I began to feel quilty that I was enjoying myself without Jill. We really are wierd aren't we but here's my observation for today, this new life that i've had to make for me holds some good things. On Saturday morning I went on my motorbike up round the coast with a couple of my friends who happen to love bikes as well, had breakfast a good old chat and home. I had a ball, I loved it and quess what, one of my friends has a brand new Harley Heritage soft tail (that is one class motorbike for those who are ignorant to bikes) and he allowed me to ride it from Ballinahinch, a touch of Heaven on earth.
Grief must be worked through, but its only all over if you allow it to be. Jill loved fun and would be saying "go on Philip, get on with it, build the Kingdom". If you are experiencing grief today, don't dare give up, keep going, its hard work but you can do it. You owe it to your loved one and to yourself.
Love yas
1 Comments:
YOUR MOUNTAIN.
I climbed Donard Mountain five years ago; it must have been because I was still smoking at the time. I was part of team from Ulster Carpet who took part in the Guide Dogs for the Blind Mourne Challenge. With out training I like fool volunteered to cycle 32 miles climb the highest peak of the Mournes and canoe 3 miles, all in one day. Its even hard to say let alone achieve. As we neared the summit, another team member asked me what ill do when I get to the top. “Have a smoke I replied.” What a stupid thing to do. After the third, draw from my hastily rolled cigarette my lungs began to gasp for what they really needed most, fresh good clean air. Air that I had decided to deprive them off. Not the most inspiring top of a mountain experience I have ever had but never the less I achieved my goal to get there, what ever it took.
Have you ever noticed that at the top of the mountain there is next to nothing growing some shrubs and grass cling for life to the steep faces of the summit and on hot days flies are the only other living creatures you might have for company. Isn’t that like life itself when you have achieved some big goal you have what is nowadays called “a top of the mountain experience”. During those moments of jubilation and joy you think things could never be any better, your goals all meet and you feel strong and full of self-belief. I think that everyone should enjoy at least one of these moments every now and then and I need one myself soon, I feel the pangs already just writing about it.
At the top of your mountain, your able to look back or maybe down to a time when you nearly give up or turned back. But if you had looked around your mountain during your times of struggling you would see trees growing, and fairs of many types and species different grasses and many little bugs living and growing together on the mountain. You see it is at this time of your trouble or expedition where you will grow and strengthen. You might not know it or want to know it but your mountain is growing you. It will strengthen you it will teach you and it will make you a different person, different from the one who looked up from the bottom in disbelieve. So if your at the point of your mountain where its hard on you and you want to give up “stop, look round you, take a breathe of air, fill your lungs full because it better down here and your lungs will appreciate it much more than that colder thinner stuff at the top.” REMEMBER LOOK UP THE TOP IS STILL ALONG WAY OF BUT RIGHT NOW YOUR GROWING.
God bless
Colin W
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