Pursuit

Yesterday was another difficult day, they creep up now and again like a thief, no warning, not sure of what instigates them but they come. I was in my pursuit to find God and again He was hiding. Sometimes one gets weary in fighting and yesterday while outwardly I worked away, my arms of faith where hung low at my side. I looked back 2 days to where I wrote never to give up and thought, "Did I write that". It was like being stuck in the dark room of doubt and pain where we can believe satans lie that we are going to remain in this miserable place forever. Leslie Williams writes in "Night Wrestling" the future is like a long, black corridor with a light shining under the door. Though we may feel alone, locked in one of the rooms off the hallway, we can hear the passing of feet, and we can pray for God to unlock the door and to walk with us toward the slim band of light visible just ahead.
I have just entered week fifteen, Jill has now been gone 98 days and life is Oh so different but I have to keep believing, holding on, trusting a God that seems to constantly elude me, knowing that I'll find Him because I'm in PURSUIT, I'm searching with all my heart and ones ability to project past the present pain gives us hope and endurance, leading us toward the light of a better day.