Lonliness

Haven't been blogging much recently. I have been quite busy this week with work during the days and football during the evenings. This has been good for me in ways - keeping my mind and body active. Outside of this I have also found myself quite flat so not much to write about.

Over the last couple of weekends I have had a haunting experiene of lonliness. I have never been really lonely in my life before. I have had lesser experiences of it at times - growing up through my teenage years, living in Africa for a year, the lonliness of leadership - but generally I have not had to deal with lonliness too much in life, thank God.

This experience however is a lonliness that I was unaware you could experience. An emptiness that seeps around your whole being. The weekends are the worst. A gap/hole in life that seems impossible to fill, almost unnatural that a human being should have to experience it.

I need to qualify this by saying that I am surrounded by the most amazing family/friends/church in the world. They have carried me thus far. I dread to think where I would be without them.

But there are times even in company, that the plague of lonliness follows me, clinging like a leach to my soul. I am writing about this not primarily for sympathy (although I appreciate and require your thoughts and prayers so much), but because if there are people in the world today who experience this kind of lonliness (and maybe even worse) I just want you to know that I am thinking about you now. I may not even know you if you are reading this and in that regard I hope this does not sound insincere or trite but I have been haunted the last week by the thought that there are people in the world who are experiencing this kind of existence and I simply want to idenitify with those people.

I am not even that sure what I can say to help. Personally I try to remember scriptures like,
'Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See I have inscribed you on the palm of my hands...'

and I ask Jesus to come and meet me in this place. It's so hard but a wait for those caresses of His love upon my soul. I, like Peter, have no-where else to go...

I hope this helps....