Over the last few months I have found myself grappling for songs and books that touch the level of my pain. I must admit I have found myself dissappointed with much of the contemporary worship scene when it comes to connecting with my level of pain. I am not being critical. Maybe it is selfish of me to think like this - looking for something for me. But I find many modern worship songs hard presently. They can't get deep enough to connect with my pain. I am not sayin they are not deep, many of them just don't enter into a place of brokenness in your soul either lyrically or melodically.


I think I find this frustrating presently because grief is such a lonely journey. Not necessarily in a physical way because I have many amazing friends who have surrounded me and pulled me through, but more in a soulish way. No-one can really identify with your pain unless they have been there in some capacity and therefore you feel alone, desiring for something to at least connect with you level of pain. It does not have to have the objective of leading you out of your pain just yet, simply identifying with it would be good. The Psalms do this for me. The 'hymn book' of the temple worship not only included beautiful lyrics describing the fair beauty of the Lord but also compiled so much disappointments, questions, pain, laments. And it was all part of the congregational worship life of Israel. Where is this happening or allowed by the church today? is a question I think is worth a conversation. I don't want to be part of the problem, I would like to be part of helping addressing the imbalance so these thoughts are here to help.

I do enjoy much of the modern worship music. I do love jumping up and down to loud, big worship, it has been part of my tradition now for over 10 years, but I just think there is an imbalance and I find myself a bit lost from it all at the minute.

As such I find myself turning to music that is not overtly christian but in some ways connects with my soul in a broken God kind of way. Some of these artists are Christians, some are not but all seem to be on some kind of journey with God. These are some people whose music/words/worship are keeping my soul company at present.



Jef Buckley (Hallelujah), Bruce Sprinsteen (When the Saints go marchin in, We shall overcome, Keep your eyes on the prize), Foy Vance (Gabriel and the Vagabond, Two shades on hope), Watermark (Captivate us), Over the Rhine (Ohio, What I remember most, I want you to be my love, Born), U2 (Stuck in a moment, All because of You, Grace, Streets have no name, I will follow), Andrew Peterson (The Silence of God), Romantica (God walks on the Water), Duke Special (Freewheel, This could be my last day)

I had originally got all the images of these albums on this post but when I went to publish it for some reason I lost them all and got a bit angry!!!