Dealing with disappointment
The saying 'the pain never really goes away, you just learn to live with it' definitely has an large element of truth in it. I am not saying there is not a place of wholeness that cannot be reached - I truthfully hope there is, but it does seem that everyday you have to learn to deal with the disappointment of the past. I find myself constantly processing broken dreams and a shattered future - disappointments jump up and bite you day after day....Lins is not with me to experience the good things of life, she will not be the mother of my children, we will not see more of the world together, she will not be with me in ministry, she will not meet new friends I make, and on and on and on....disappointments that singe my soul with pain, from the little things to the more major ideals of life, and each time it feels like your heart bleeds a little bit more...
It is simply tryin to build a 'new normal.' I am learning how to manage the pain better, but it gradually enters deeper parts of your heart, percolating down through your soul to depths I never knew could 'feel.'
Maybe it is like Jacob, we can find God's best for us again but we will always walk with a limp...
It has made me look at people differently. How many people go through life daily dealing with disappointment, facing broken dreams and smashed ideals every day? I realise I am not alone in this. I know everyone's situation is different but how do we deal with this disappointment? When it feels like life has robbed us of our youthful innocence, when we realise that never again will we enjoy the carefree naivety of life, when we 'wake up' and realise that life does not work out the way we wanted it to and when we realise that pain/suffering/broken dreams are every much a part of 'life in all its fullness' as happiness and fulfilled dreams are....
Maybe we are never closer to God in our brokenness.......Father, help us to deal with disappointment, maybe even disappointment with You, in the way you would want us to...empty us of our selfishness...mend our hearts oh God we pray so that we can be more like your Son, Jesus...limping along towards holiness...
It is simply tryin to build a 'new normal.' I am learning how to manage the pain better, but it gradually enters deeper parts of your heart, percolating down through your soul to depths I never knew could 'feel.'
Maybe it is like Jacob, we can find God's best for us again but we will always walk with a limp...
It has made me look at people differently. How many people go through life daily dealing with disappointment, facing broken dreams and smashed ideals every day? I realise I am not alone in this. I know everyone's situation is different but how do we deal with this disappointment? When it feels like life has robbed us of our youthful innocence, when we realise that never again will we enjoy the carefree naivety of life, when we 'wake up' and realise that life does not work out the way we wanted it to and when we realise that pain/suffering/broken dreams are every much a part of 'life in all its fullness' as happiness and fulfilled dreams are....
Maybe we are never closer to God in our brokenness.......Father, help us to deal with disappointment, maybe even disappointment with You, in the way you would want us to...empty us of our selfishness...mend our hearts oh God we pray so that we can be more like your Son, Jesus...limping along towards holiness...
posted by Alain Emerson at
6:47 PM
7 Comments:
hi there,
not sure if it would be your thing cus you seem to be into cooler music but rich mullans has some great ministry songs on albums 'songs' and 'songs 2' particularly - we are not as strong as we think we are, if i stand, hold me jesus and peace. worth a listen.
By
Anonymous, At
7:33 PM
Hi Alain,
My friend Emily wrote and played a song for us this weekend. I was writing a blog about it just now, and thought of you. I just read about your thoughts on lack of heart connecting music and thought you might want to check it out..You can listen to it at myspace.com/emilygreenwoodmusic, its called Real Love Song.
Ashley
By
AshleyMorgan, At
10:48 PM
Love you bro. Let me know when you get home and I'll call you from Bethlehem.
j
By
J-Mac, At
12:42 AM
'Caim' prayer, from Celtic Daily Prayer*
"This night and every night
Seems infinite with questions,
and sleep as elusive
as answers.
Pain and longing are always present,
dulled only a little
by the distractions of day.
I am weary, I am angry.
I am confused.
Circle me, Lord.
Keep despair and disillusion without.
Bring a glimmer of hope within.
Circle me Lord;
Keep nightmare without.
Bring moments of rest within.
Circle me Lord;
Keep bitterness without.
Bring an occasional sense
of Your presence within."
*Caim prayers were traditionally prayer when a person did not know what to pray and when it seemed impossible to focus. The 'caim' or 'encircling' prayer was prayed by drawing a circle around yourself using your index finger to symbolise the encircling love of God.
Susanna, Manchester
By
susanna, At
12:57 PM
Hey Alain...
this popped into my head to send to you...
It's an old Irish Poem from c.1000 by an anonymous writer, I'm always blessed by it. It reminds me of Be Thou My Vision, there may be a link with it.
May it bless you and others. I could send you the gaelic translation...it's a bit mammoth though! Godbless di :)
Fill My Horizon
"Fill my horizon,
Lord of love.
still my eyes
On the King above.
Be my thought
By day and night
when eyelids shut,
Yet stay in sight.
be my speech
Be my IQ
You for me
I for you.
Be my Father.
I your Son.
We together,
Kith and Kin.
Be my battleshield.
Be my sword.
Be my dignity.
Be my reward.
Be my safehouse,
My basecamp strong.
Be my air-lift
With angel throng!
My body's balm,
My spirit's health,
Be my regime
In heaven and earth.
Unto You alone
My heart shall cling
None can dethrone
Heaven's High King.
Before You request,
Let me donate
My food,my rest-
your care is so great.
Of all I savour
Be supreme-
Above intimate favour,
Inanimate gleam.
In my soul Your touch,
In my heart Your love,
Bestow on me such,
King of Heaven above.
Bestow on me such,
King of Heaven above,
In my soul Your touch,
In my heart Your love.
With the King of All,
Tour of duty done,
Under Heaven's rule,
Under dazzling sun.
dear Father please,
(My SOS to You!)
This wretch's release
Is now overdue!
Christ bless the days
which face me still
Lord of earth and skies,
My horizon fill."
take care
By
Dianne Crozier, At
10:54 AM
You are right about the limp. The limp is there as you journey on through life, at times it sneaks up when you thing the pain was so apparant. But then you remember that encounter you had in that wrestling with the Lord. When you said I will not let you go until you bless me. For me that is the grace to continue. As you travel along the journey you hold on to HOPE, that in Christ ALL of our suffering is redemptive. Abraham saw that DAY, Job knew that His redeemer lived. It is this knowing that in the pain as you press in and wrestle our hope is, then comes the knowing and resting that it is all redemptive. All of this is for a moment. We have know grasp of the eternal. Those who have gone through the dark night of the soul then in turn reach out to those who are going throught that deep, deep valley and in prayer, in deed PS18 reach to pull them through.
By
Anonymous, At
2:05 PM
words don't cut it, even music don't. An amazing song is 'Sand and water' by Beth Neilsen Chapman
By
Jen, At
7:33 PM
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